Thursday 5 April 2012
What do I do when I try to get my child started in Martial Arts and he is getting upset about trying something new? He said he does not want to do Martial Arts and started crying and getting really upset. He does this when starting new things and I am worried he will not be able to cope with challenges when he gets to school.
Master O’s email reply to a parent recently:
Thanks for the email and sorry to hear things worked out this way for you.
First up … don’t worry as this is very normal. We have many children starting their first sport who carry on like pork chops when getting started into sport. Over the past 30 years I have had children who come in and sit on the edge of the mats for 3 and 4 weeks before we could get them on the mats training. This is a sign that they lack self confidence and is the very reason their parents must keep trying to get them started.
I tell parents to let the children know that doing martial arts is a “not negotiable” especially for these children, however you may choose to do it somewhat on their terms. For example, they may choose to sit and watch for a few lessons, or you may do some one on one private lessons before doing group classes.
The trick as a parent is to be assertive and tell your child all the reasons why Martial Arts is so important as it:
1. helps children concentrate and learn to read and do maths at school
2. helps children be confident and therefore to get really nice friends
3. helps children to be strong in their body so they do well in their school sports
4. helps children to have a strong mind and this is good because we won’t worry about small things when we have a strong mind
5. helps children who get bullied and rather than them getting hurt they can defend themselves.
Once he understands that you believe this he will become accepting.
You can see these are the sorts of things to talk about, and over time, he will be fine with Martial Arts training.
I always say to parents, “Do you ask your child if they want to go to school, or if they want to clean their teeth, or if they want to have breakfast, or practice their reading and homework?”
The same goes for Martial Arts as it is very much a life skill as it is a sport and recreational pursuit.
We have our technical tournament coming up with poomse, high kick, fly side kick etc etc and this might be great for you and your son to come and watch. If you’re excited about Martial Arts I can assure you he will become this way.
Finally, dads are the people who mostly shape our little men’s thinking. Mums of course do shape their thinking, but dads have the greatest impact with sons, just as mothers do with daughters. I have been talking to dads about when they are worried that their child is getting overweight and they are wanting them to eat better, for example. It usually turns out that dad needs to eat better or more regularly or model at home good eating habits before the young men in the house will follow.
Likewise, if you are doing Martial Arts training and come home with your uniform on your son will ask all about what you are doing, or he will hang onto your every word about the cool kicks or self defence moves you are learning, and he will want to follow in his cool dad’s footsteps. Also, if you used to train in Martial Arts before, drag out the good old time photos of you training and the cool things you did before – make it a movie night and tell great stories of how fun Martial Arts was for you. Or when you go to your first classes, take photos and bring them home and show them and talk about how much fun the class was.
As you can see, it’s not that easy … but anything that is life changing takes perseverance, dedication and a special “touch” to achieve great things.
Sorry about the sermon – was not meant to be this long!
Hope this helps
Master O
