Monday 8 August 2011
As we have said in previous posts routines are critical in every child’s day. The overall routine of the day is important to make sure children feel safe and confident in the fact that the day is going to go OK. Parents often ask me what is the most important thing they can do in getting the daily routine right. Well, there really isn’t one thing to get right, other than to say that daily routines need to be structured and consistent. It’s not that every day needs to be the same, nor that one day of pretty ordinary routine is going to destroy your child. The point is that it’s what we do most of the time that counts when it comes to daily routines for children.
In getting our minds around good routines, it’s a good idea to break the day up into its part. Of course a large part of the day is the responsibility of the teachers and school administration – that part of the day when children are at school generally from around 9am to 3pm.
Of course there’s the morning routine and then after school – the afternoon routine. In another article we’ll chat about some great things to do in the morning routine, however let’s devote our attention to the afternoon routine in this blogg.
Here are some great afternoon routine tips:
1. Children need to know at the start of the day how they are going to get home. Make sure there’s no arrangements like “I’m not sure who’s picking you up but we’ll work it out today some time and I’ll text you after school”. These arrangements don’t build confidence nor do they let children know you have things in hand. They’ll get the message that routine is not important so when you do want to insist on certain routines you won’t be seen by your child as someone who values routine and so you won’t be seen as an authority on “being organised”.
2. Have the afternoons planned. For example, know what happens on each day, and don’t leave it to be a let’s decide when I pick you up.
3. Always have structured activities planned for every day. For example, Wednesdays and Fridays might be martial arts training, Tuesday is a play day at home. Possibly Monday and Thursday are homework days.
4. Have a clear time schedule for pick up time, afternoon tea time, martial arts training, dinner time and bed time.
5. Make sure that when children want to change the schedule that you insist on maintaining it. Children rarely if ever have a good reason for changing the schedule. Once you agree on one occasion, then it will be worth the argument for them in the fixture. Sickness might be the only reason to change a schedule.
6. Carefully plan afternoon tea in terms of what you and the children are going to have. Make sure children do not skip afternoon tea as this controls blood sugar levels which directly effects motivation and mood. Making sure you have a good balance of protein, carbohydrates and fats is critical to ensuring children feel like exercising and doing home work. Foods like yoghurt, sandwiches, fruit, sustagen and so on are good. Food like cream buns, lollies, ice cream and donuts should be off the list as they are full of sugar and give them real highs and lows in mood and motivation.
7. Let the afternoon be a relaxed time in terms of how you manage stressful things as a parent. For example, if the traffic makes you angry and the children can see this, then going to martial arts training will not be fun if it involves going through traffic on the way. In fact, kids will really not want to go.
8. Make sure the home “play time” day has clearly set time limits and does not drag into the dark of night, and is structured in terms of you knowing as a parent exactly who your child is playing with and where – of course there should be adult supervision at all times. Sitting on the computer from 3.30 to 7pm, or less, does not make for a good afternoon play time. Afternoon play time should be physical, so if children do not want to go outside, take them to the local park to kick a ball, ride a bike, fly a kite or play tiggy.
9. Make time in the car a time to talk about things you did in your day as well as things children did in their day. It can be a quality time of sharing, talking, and staying in touch with each other. If car time is a “good time” then children will want to be there with you.
10. Ensure the afternoon / evening period ends at a planned time and that showers and getting ready for bed is done at a time that everyone has a shared understanding of. For children, reading in bed and then lights off is definitely the away to go.
In a future blogg we’ll chat about the morning session – that wonderful time in the morning from getting up to getting to school at a good time.
Happy parenting
Master O
